Honestly, are women supposed to observe an ‘expiry date’ for marriage? Is AGE the factor to determine this so called ‘expiry date’? What is the ideal age to get hitched? What happens if they fail to get married after the date? Are they supposed to rot? Or turned sour or perished?

All over the world, women dream of happy marriage, fairytale alike wedding, princess look-a-like wedding gowns, knights in shining armors charging over and sweep their feet off…*snap snap*….come back to real life! I believe life can be just as simple as 1,2,3 if we care for ourselves and not what others think. Many women rushed into marriage just to satisfy, not themselves but others surrounding them. Do they really know the meaning of marriage? Has it ever occur to them that marriage signifies long term loyalty, lifetime partner and commitments, heavy enough that require two individuals’ strength to carry on as a couple? Why are they rushing into all these? Do they not fear of making the wrong decision, a lifetime decision?

Long ago, our great grandparents marry out of arrangements. Some are happy together and some are unfortunately not. In the modern days, many marry out of love but are still unhappy with their marriages and the rate of divorce increases year by year. Why is this happening? Marriage from love, isn’t it supposed to be more long lasting, happier & cherished? What has the word ‘marriage’ became of?

Venice*, a 31 years old attractive lash with stable job income, having a dream every women wanted - a loving & understanding husband, a romantic wedding and a wonderful family. She could never have believed that this dream shattered when she found out she had agreed to marry out of her race with age! Out of her ridiculous idea of not wanting to drag on a relationship and instead planned to marry Kevin* he knew for only 2 months! Of course the deal was that Kevin must agree to start planning and saving for the marriage, else the relationship ends there and then.

So the chronicle began with a loving & caring, understanding and detail-oriented, soft-spoken man with extensive ideas that made her happy every single day but all these changed after awhile, after a short 6 months. They began to argue and his words were more harsh and hurtful as the fights continued throughout the relationship week by week, month by month and soon enough it’s THE time to sign the papers as lawful couples. She tried to continue without doubts, thinking that her decision and choice made was right just to realize that the relationship was then worsened where they had more and more fights with more and more intolerable words. Now, here’s the interesting part - there were not much of chemistry for intimacy involved even in the beginning because all she wanted was to be married and with all the fights and hurts she gathered, his touches actually disgust her! How is she supposed to continue from here? It was her own decision and she had no option but to let herself sink into the ‘well’ she dug for herself, deeper and deeper, burying herself in the dark, just to preserve the whole scenario of a well prepared bride-to-be and pretend to be the happiest woman alive.

Why is this happening to Venice? Was it her own fault? What was her reason to rush into marriage? Though she had broken hearts before but could she fall back to those bad incidents in her previous relationships and make it THE reason to marry a person she barely knew … to race with her age or simply to hurt herself even more and live in misery, having no faith in love and marriage, pick & match and get over it, get over life? Is this what Venice wanted for the rest of her lives?

I believe all of us should take charge of our own lives. We should never rush into crucial decisions unless we have thoroughly thought it over. Marriage is about 2 persons becoming 1 and is definitely a difficult hurdle to jump over together with unless they are strongly bonded. In any relationship, love for each other is of utmost importance because love forms the foundation to a stable and healthy family whilst understanding each other forms the body of a well established family. Loyalty forms the conclusion of ‘all’s well ends well’ family.

Obviously, Venice didn’t marry out of love but she was sure that his partner did, at least in the initial 6 months. However, how could she have thought that personality, characteristics and everything else not known to her could shatter her dream in the end. Not knowing a partner’s real personality here proves to be catastrophic. No doubt, he loved her but it was only in the beginning and when he was sure that she is to marry him and that once they are lawfully registered as husband and wife, he changed drastically, to being himself. They marry out of a deal, no one is at fault.

A friend once told me a joke that a wise couple in love, upon their decision to get married, should sign at the Registry of Marriage in one room and immediately followed by another signing ceremony in another room for divorce, just in case in future, things don’t work out, the couple could skip the hassle! (laugh)…What a good idea!

*Name is changed for privacy purposes

Article contributed by Vivienne Jee